I’m Koji. I live with my wife, Keiko, and our three daughters—Ayane in 8th grade, Kaori in 4th, and Madoka, who’s six. Keiko works full-time and still pulls her weight with the house and the kids, so I’m nothing but grateful. I also have a younger sister, Nao, who’s ten years younger than me. Growing up, our parents drilled into us that “siblings should always stay close.” So when Nao got married and had my niece, Rin, I naturally thought our daughters and Rin would all grow up close together, like one big happy family.
But Keiko doesn’t see things that way, and we clashed over it more than once. In the end, my mom and Keiko went head-to-head, and I was stuck watching nervously from the sidelines. The visit ended with almost no conversation between them.
It wasn’t that I wanted sympathy or advice. I just wanted someone to hear me out when I said it felt lonely, finally becoming family and still feeling this distance. Instead, I got a full-on lecture from a female subordinate at work. Maybe this is what people mean by a “difference in values.” I’m not totally sure.
But one thing did become painfully clear: my way of thinking is outdated, and even though I thought I was being considerate of Keiko, I really wasn’t at all.