I’m Nao. I live with my husband, Kazunari, and our three-year-old daughter, Rin. My older brother Koji—who’s ten years older than me—and I have always been really close. He’s married to Keiko, and now he’s the father of three girls: Ayane in her second year of middle school, Kaori in fourth grade, and six-year-old Madoka.
When we visit my brother’s house, Rin—an only child—gets tons of attention from her older cousins and looks like she’s having the best time. But even when I invite them to hang out, my brother’s family keeps canceling at the last minute. I didn’t give up and stopped by with some snacks, only to find out that their excuse about being sick was a lie. I started to think Keiko’s distant attitude was the real problem. When I talked to my mom about it, she said she’d speak to Keiko for me… but things didn’t go the way I expected.
I realized I’d been too hung up on labels like “family” and “cousins.” Thinking that Rin should join the three sisters just because she’s an only child was unfair—to Keiko, to the girls, and to Rin herself.
Whether a child has siblings or not, what really matters might be teaching independence. From now on, instead of forcing Rin into the cousins’ group, I want to let her play with the friends she chooses and focus on making our own family time richer and happier.