I’m Noriko Suzuki, 48. I lost both my parents when I was young and grew up in a care facility. After years of working at a foreign company and building assets through real estate investing, I took early retirement at 45. I later married my husband, Hironari, 50, and we moved to the suburbs. Not long after, my sister-in-law Yumi, 42, asked me to take care of her husband Atsuki’s mother, Kagawa, 79, who lives nearby. When I refused, my mother-in-law Yurie, 75, called me and said the same thing Yumi did—that as a stay-at-home wife, it was only natural for me to look after relatives. She even went as far as saying that maybe I refused because I didn’t know what a “normal family” was.
That call left me shaken. I wondered if my sense of what family should be was really different. So I talked to my friend Namie, who also grew up in a care facility. When I told her about Kagawa and the uneasiness I felt toward my in-laws, she said firmly, “You’re not the one who’s wrong.” She told me to trust the discomfort I sensed—and that sometimes, the only option is to walk away.
Hearing Namie’s words helped me realize it was okay to step away from my mother-in-law’s and sister-in-law’s values—and to put my own happiness first.