Ever since I got married about 30 years ago, I (the mother-in-law) have always prioritized maintaining good relationships with my in-laws and relatives. In return, I feel the family made a real effort to care for me too. But perhaps times have changed… Nozomi, the woman my son Toma chose to marry, looked me dead in the eye and declared that she would “only care for her own mother.” She clearly has no intention of getting involved with her in-laws. So, I made the decision not to give them the money I had saved for Toma’s wedding.
The money meant for Toma was only saved because I worked so hard to cultivate those family relationships. Yet Nozomi has zero desire to value those connections. So honestly, I felt that if it was just going to end up in her hands, I’d rather not give it to them at all.
Since it’s money my husband and I saved on our own, we have every right to use it however we like. Saya, on the other hand, told us she wants to invite the relatives who supported us to her wedding, so we feel great about helping fund hers. To call that “favoritism” or whatever is completely nonsensical… It’s exactly the kind of self-centered response I’d expect from someone like Nozomi, and frankly, I was just appalled.