I’m Namika, 30 years old, and I got married about two years ago. My mom lives by herself back home. I’m one of three siblings; my older sister (Misato, 34) lives nearby with her family, and my younger brother (Ren, 28, single) lived on his own in a neighboring prefecture. But not long ago, Ren tragically passed away in a car accident. While sorting through his things, Mom insisted on looking at the photos on his phone. My sister and I tried to stop her, but she broke into it anyway. When she found tons of pictures and texts with a woman, she completely lost it. On top of that, when I tried to stop her from badmouthing Ren’s girlfriend, she snapped at me and said, “I wish you had died instead of Ren.”
Losing my brother was already heartbreaking enough, but having my own mother say something so deeply cutting has made this incredibly hard to bear.I get that Mom is hurting.
But going through a hard time shouldn’t give anyone a free pass to do or say whatever they want.I just hope she realizes that someday.Honestly, I wanted our remaining family to lean on each other to get through his death, but that doesn’t seem possible right now.For now, I’ll just hold onto Ren’s smile and our memories, and keep honoring his life in my own way.