My name is Akane (32). I live with my third-grade son and my husband Takumi in his family home. His parents passed away before we got married, so it’s just the three of us now, but until a few years ago his younger sister, Maki (26), lived with us too. Maki lives on her own now, but she still helps herself to our food and pantry items and takes them home without asking. My husband seems to allow it, but honestly, it’s a problem for me. This time, she took cheese we were supposed to use for a takoyaki party with my mom friends, and I snapped.
My husband feels sorry for Maki and wants to help her however he can. Sometimes it feels like he expects me to fill a mother-figure role for her. But I’m not her mother, and I don’t plan to be. I’ve put up with it to some extent and let things slide, but when she repeatedly ignores me saying, “Just tell me before you take something,” I think it’s only natural to feel like I don’t want her taking anything at all. Maki isn’t a bad person, so if this approach solves the problem, I actually think it turned out to be a pretty good solution.